The friendships that I have made during my high school and college playing days have lasted a lifetime. With one daughter playing college volleyball and the other committed to playing college basketball, I have been reflecting on my own experience as I attempt to advise what is important in life as it relates to their participation in athletics.
Life-Long Bond
It has been over 30 years since I have taken my last three-point shot and hit my last baseball. I do not have to look very far to see the impact of my athletic career on nearly every aspect of my life. The biggest impact is my wife. Undoubtedly, I would not have secured my relationship with my wife had I not been a successful athlete. I made the decision to ask my wife out during our high school basketball team’s run to state in 1989. She would tell you that one of the initial attractions was the excitement of dating the senior “basketball star.” A brief decision to ask my now-wife out to prom has yielded a lifetime of love and two extraordinary daughters. The positive impact on my life of this decision initially built on athletics is impossible to measure. It has meant everything to my life.
When I inventory my life, my closest friends are all former teammates. I believe “friend” may not be the right word for this inner circle. It is more aptly described as brothers. Something definitely more than friendship. A closer bond. I spent this past weekend with two high school basketball teammates. These are people that I do not get to see often and sometimes do not even have the opportunity to speak to for months or even years. Once we were back together, I was amazed that it did not feel awkward or odd. It felt as if we had only seen each other last week. I was surprised to find out that the one former teammate that I had not spoken with for years had been following the basketball career of my daughter Grace. He told me he felt a closeness to her through our experiences together years ago, even though he had never met her. He felt joy for the success she was having.
What is it about athletics that creates this type of bond? There are two main things that I can point to. The first is that these experiences occurred during our formative years when we grew from boys into men experiencing the world on our own for the first time. The second was that we were teammates working intently toward a common goal. We counted on each other while striving to win games and championships. Going through the ups and downs of a season creates a special closeness among the players.
Grounding My Girls
I feel that we are a unique family. Most of our family’s activities and conversations are tied to my daughter’s participation in athletics. We have had many friends and relatives, especially when my daughters were young, call us insane as we pushed our daughters hard in athletics. Since my wife and I played sports in college, we are keenly aware of the elephant in the room. At some point in the near future, both children will stop playing competitive sports at a high level. It ends for every athlete. The biggest thing you will remember is not the wins or losses. Not how much playing time you received or how many points you scored. Ultimately, it is about the relationships you build through that shared experience. It is these relationships that you will cherish.
My oldest daughter is at Presbyterian College. I am overjoyed at the friendships that developed for her over the past two years. It is clear to me that she will have friendships that will last forever. Friends that she can count on in her life. I firmly believe that she will cherish the relationships she has built no matter what happens in her last year in volleyball.
As my youngest daughter goes off to college this summer, I hope the program she chose will provide an exciting basketball experience and create a special culture that develops and fosters a close, tight-knit team filled with special high-quality kids. I sincerely hope she finds the same thing that her sister found at Presbyterian College.
Conclusion
Ultimately, all of life revolves around the relationships you make. I also try to converse with my daughters about the importance of this as they work through life. Make choices and put yourself in situations where there are like-minded quality individuals. Fill your life with people that will positively impact you and your life.
I hope you liked this article and that it raised questions about what you want to talk to your children about. Please take the time to subscribe to this blog so you are made aware of future posts.