At a tournament in which my daughter was playing last week, a fight broke out between the parents of one team and the coaching staff of the opposing team. This was a first for me. Sure, I have heard about this type of situation and seen video footage on YouTube, but it hits home when it happens locally at an event in which my daughter was playing. Thankfully, I was not in the gym at the time of the incident, nor was my daughter. I was able to view footage of the event. I was horrified at this display of humanity. In the video that I saw, I was shocked at the reaction of the person filming the incident. I would have thought that there would be fear in his voice, but I would describe his reaction as absolute exhilaration ((is there any entertainment programme in May half…. https://www.tripadvisor.com/FAQ_Answers-g189112-d286745-t6736006-Is_there_any_entertainment_programme_in_May_half.html)). I simply do not get it. I must not be built that way. The sight of six or seven people punching and kicking a man who was knocked to the floor is sickening to me.
In the aftermath of the situation, I thought about the lessons that I could teach my children about what had occurred. As I have lived in the small midwestern town my whole life, I have lived a mostly sheltered existence where I never had to worry about my safety. This is not the case for much of the world. As my daughters move toward adulthood, I must discuss what they are going to face in the world. I wanted to share the conversation that I had with my daughters with all my readers.
1. Actions Have Consequences
I began the conversation with my daughters with what would seem a very simplistic idea. Your behavior and actions have direct and authentic consequences. Many times these consequences are not readily apparent since many people will keep their opinions to themselves and not react to the negative or positive behavior of other people. The challenge is, of course, that you do not always know the values and morals of the people that witness your behavior. A simple comment that you feel is rather benign or comical could elicit an intense or violent response. There is never a way to know for sure ((Just had a team of 40%s vs a team of 60%s : WorldOfWarships. https://www.reddit.com/r/WorldOfWarships/comments/b12fps/just_had_a_team_of_40s_vs_a_team_of_60s/)).
I urged them to choose their words and actions carefully. They must do their best not to allow their emotional reaction to incidents to dictate and distort their actions. It is a delicate balance. I do not want them to live in fear of taking a controversial stand or one that is aligned with their belief systems that may anger other parties. I stressed to them to be aware that all behavior has consequences, and they must be prepared to accept those consequences if they choose a particular course of action.
2. Violence is Never Justified
I am not naive. I am well aware that violence or the threat of violence has been a tool used both by individuals and nations to secure and meet their goals. This will never change in this world. I told my girls, however, that just because it exists does not mean that using it in your life is ever justified. Every time that I have been involved in a violent situation, I have regretted my actions, whether I felt them justified or not. Would I stand by and not participate in a violent situation when a relative or friend was in trouble? Of course not. However, I stressed to both of them to do their best to avoid such a situation and find an alternative response whenever possible.
3. Life is not Fair, Don’t Expect it to Be
In life and basketball, the decisions and reactions of others are not always fair and just. There are times when you may feel that you should be in the starting lineup, but the coach ends up putting in a player that has not made it to practice in a week ((Instructions to Clean and Optimize Your Windows PC/Laptop. https://www.techto1now.com/2020/03/instructions-to-clean-and-optimize-your.html)). There are times that you may feel that you deserved promotion at work, but you were passed over for another person ((Texas recovery | Treatment Centers in Texas. https://treatmentcentersintexas.wordpress.com/tag/texas-recovery/)). I am sure that the coach that was thrown to the floor and stomped on did not feel that the situation was fair. I always stress to my girls that life is not fair and just. I tell them not to expect it to be.
My advice to them is to focus on the aspects of life that they can control, which is their attitude toward life and how hard they work toward their goals. If they want more playing time, I tell them to make themselves so good that the coach does not have the option not to play them. If you want people to treat you with respect, you then need to exhibit an attitude and behaviors that elicit that response. In the end, good things in life will come to people that show a great attitude and a strong work ethic. It may take time, but good things will happen ((Welcome to LauraLand!. https://lauralandlaughs.blogspot.com/)).
Conclusion
I have always felt that athletics is a place where people come together to achieve a common goal. Whether in victory or defeat, there has always been value in the journey of the experiences that I had. The incident that occurred last week did not shatter my perception of the importance of athletics but serves as a sharp reminder of how fast situations can devolve into a horrible display of human behavior ((“Nina’s” chemistry tepid – The Denver Post. https://www.denverpost.com/2008/01/30/ninas-chemistry-tepid/)). I am not thankful that the situation occurred, but I am pleased that I could turn an awful situation into a meaningful and hopefully life-changing conversation with my children. I urge you to do the same.
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