Basketball is a very physical and competitive sport. It demands superior physical conditioning and quick reflexes. To become skilled, it takes hours working alone in a gym doing repetitive drills. It is a contact sport where the players do not get to wear a helmet or pads. This is a game where one player cannot do it all. The ability to work well with the coaches and the other players is essential to success. On top of all that, you have referees, your parents, and opposing fans watching and sometimes commenting on every move that you make. With all of these external pressures and the demands of preparing for the sport, the biggest obstacle occurs within a player’s own mind. It is the intrinsic battle in one’s mind that will set the player’s attitude and the amount of effort that they will expend daily toward the sport.
We can control a few things: our attitude, our effort, our focus, and how we go about treating our teammates. ((Tim Tebow quote: We can control a few things: our attitude …. https://www.azquotes.com/quote/797470))
Tim Tebow
Choose Your Attitude
As my children were moving toward high school, I made the conscious decision to stop coaching them. I thought it was vital that they hear other voices. I found that my kids were also trying to separate themselves from me and take on the world on their own. Of course, this is natural. I began to think about how I could be of most help to them moving forward. I remember watching a movie called Magic & Bird: A Courtship of Rivals. I started to think about what separates a good player from a great player. The first thing that came to mind is incredible physical skills, but surely that doesn’t describe Bird. The underlying theme of the film was how these two legends had an insatiable desire to win. It was pervasive within their attitude toward the game. Nothing could deter them from this desire. My thoughts were confirmed again when watching The Last Dance with the way that Jordan approached the game. How did this desire get placed within them? Can it be taught to anyone?
I will tell you that I do not have all the answers. I would like to share the things that I have been trying in the hopes that they may be helpful to you. The first step is to realize is that blocking out time to work on the mental side of the game is just as important as working on a jump shot ((Dustin Martin Has Nothing Left to Prove | Complex. https://www.complex.com/sports/2018/08/dustin-martin-has-nothing-left-to-prove)). I try to have a conversation about attitude a few times a week with my girls. I emphasize that they can choose the attitude that they are going to take out into the world. They can choose to be positive and enthusiastic, depressed, and introverted, or anywhere in between. The exciting thing is that you can change your attitude in an instant. I talk to them about taking ten minutes during the car ride to mentally determine how they will set their attitude for the practice or the game. The key is constant attention to where they want their attitude to be set at.
I feel that it has been producing results. Today, after practice, my youngest daughter was telling me about the good and bad attitudes that she saw at her practice. It has been at the forefront of her mind, and now she sees examples of it everywhere.
It is easy to have a great attitude when you are playing, and the team is winning. The measure of a person’s character is how they react when they face adversity. When my oldest daughter was in 8th grade, she played on a very talented team ((It’s Time to Teach Digital Life Skills In School. https://www.fosi.org/good-digital-parenting/its-time-teach-digital-life-skills-school/)). There were games when she would play very little or not at all. I was always amazed to see her still engaged in the game and cheering on her teammates. Proof positive of a great attitude.
I have been in the process of reading books about attitude and then discussing them with my children. I would like to challenge you to start having meaningful conversations about attitude with your son or daughter. Bring it to the forefront of their mind. Make it something that they attend to daily ((The Key Marketing Strategy to Building Client Trust …. https://www.masslivemedia.com/benefits-of-testimonials/)). I believe that it will produce tangible results.
Great effort springs naturally from great attitude.
Pat Riley
Intense and Relentless Effort
There are players blessed with incredible speed and strength. Some players can jump out of the gym and are incredibly tall. All of these gifts are wasted if the player does not have the desire to push beyond the limits of their mind. One of my favorite things to preach to my children is that the mind will say “no” long before the muscles in your body will. I watch a lot of games and a lot of practices. It is simply astonishing to see the number of players that are not pushing themselves to the fullest extent of their ability.
Let’s be honest. There is not a player that gives 110% at every moment of each game and practice. It just does not happen. That being said, it is the great players that can push themselves hard for more extended periods than an average player. When my daughter was in 7th grade, she played one year up on an 8th-grade team ((There’s a big difference between what makes a ‘father’ and …. https://www.dailyrepublic.com/all-dr-news/wires/features/theres-a-big-difference-between-what-makes-a-father-and-a-dad/)). We were playing the first game of the club basketball season in Waukegan, Illinois. The club director had worked the schedule so that their top team played in the game immediately after my daughter’s team. Because of this, 20+ coaches were watching the game. Our team was down by 10 with four minutes to go, and our coach put on a full-court man to man press. At this point, my daughter’s effort into playing defense on the press seemed to double noticeably. They did not end up winning the game, but it provided an excellent talking point that I would use with her. I asked how she was able to raise the level of her effort during that point in a game. Is there a way that she could do it more often during a game or in practice?
As I suggested in the attitude section, I believe that the amount of effort that your child spends should be a constant topic of conversation before and after practice. I try not to do it negatively. I nudge them a little by asking questions about specific parts of the game or practice. I hope that you add the topic of effort to your conversations with your son or daughter.
Conclusion
The attitude and effort of your child can be the determining factor in the amount of playing time they receive. Coaches love kids with positive attitudes and those that play with high effort. Please make a conscious decision to address these two key attributes consistently.
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